Exciting new “research” findings, brought to you by Dr Miso Soup, PhD, head of attention-seeking at the Random Connections Institute, Hoboken. (Motto: “We can correlate it for you, wholesale.”)
- Facebook gives you cancer (unlike telephones, letter writing, or other things that academics actually understand already)
- Women with big chins sleep around more (so now you know who to look out for in the bar)
- Sharks hit by economic downturn (plus, the people they do eat are more scrawny now)
- Men remember scantily-clad female bodies better than fully-clothed ones (but what women remember wasn’t important enough to ask about)
“Where’s the beef?” I hear you asking. What are you, some kind of expert on meat? Eat your baloney.