Given all the other bogus crap that people have figured out how to sell on eBay, I’m surprised that no-one seems to be selling personal black hole detectors, so as to bilk those nervous about events being reported at CERN.
It’s not like a lot of research would be needed: just cut and paste a load of pseudo-scientific verbiage from New Age blogs and mix it up with some meaningless “physics” from the fringes of Audiophilia, give it a catchy name like iHole, and you’re all set. You could probably get away with shipping any fifty-cent blinky trinket, although you’d probably want to bundle it with some singing magnets, a piece of agate and a map of Switzerland for verisimilitude.
If some of my more unscrupulous readers find this a worthy avenue to venture down, they might consider giving me some credit for the idea. All I ask is that they don’t; a cut of the profits will be fine, albeit reluctantly accepted.