• Facebook gives you cancer (unlike telephones, letter writing, or other things that academics actually understand already)
• Women with big chins sleep around more (so now you know who to look out for in the bar)
• Sharks hit by economic downturn (plus, the people they do eat are more scrawny now)
• Men remember scantily-clad female bodies better than fully-clothed ones (but what women remember wasn’t important enough to ask about)

“Where’s the beef?” I hear you asking. What are you, some kind of expert on meat? Eat your baloney.