I was offered four choices, and was told that, for something, I should “press one“, for something else, I should “choose two“, for another thing “it’s three“, otherwise, I should “press four“.

It must be the case that someone, somewhere, has deliberately decided to vary the verb for menu choices away from press each time, but I’ll bet a ha’penny bun to a pound of dried bananas that there is no solid empirical research backing this oddness up.

The use of “it’s three” is particularly jarring, I think, prompting the question: “it’s three what?“

But, of course, after selecting the “pay my bill” option, I was dumped into the usual please enter this information, no, we won’t tell you what format, no you shouldn’t press hash (except here) interface, which was strangely comforting in its familiar awkwardness.